Wangapeka 1

Any of you who have been on a silent retreat will know that the process of 're-entry' can be disconcerting: everything seems to be going too fast - cars, speech, life in general - hence my slowness in beginning to share something of the essence of the retreat time.

The Wangapeka Study and Retreat Centre, which was founded by Buddhists 40 years ago, is perched among the remnants of a South Island beech forest, above a river valley filled with mist and raindrops and,when I was there, thunder and occasional sunlight. It was a beautiful environment and very fitting as we were there to pay attention to the creation in all its moods and diversity.

Now I'm home I've been  processing some of the gifts of this important time of reflection, discovery and grace. Wondering just how I might begin to share some of the Wangapeka experience, I thought I'd share a 'fantail' story  to ease my way in.

Photo by Adrienne Thompson

As we Kiwis know, the fantail or 'piwakawaka' is an extremely active little bird which rarely settles in one place for long as it flits around looking for food on the wing. It is sociable and keeps close to people because we disturb the little insects it loves although it does seem as if the fantails enjoy our company!

I certainly enjoyed theirs as I walked the unfamiliar forest tracks among fallen pines and new native growth, with the subdued roar of the river in the background. They would 'peep - peep - peep' their way from bush to bush or dart from one side of the track to the other but, as far as I could tell, not one of them settled for more than a few seconds.

Towards the end of the retreat I was sitting outside in the sunshine, away from the cold wind, watching the fantails in the courtyard as they inspected every nook and cranny, roof crevice and flowering bed for edible delights.  After a while  I closed my eyes and let the sun warm my face for the first time in days.

And then the 'still, small voice' whispered, 'You're just like the fantail  - flitting around all over the place. You need to settle.'

If that had been the only thing I 'heard' at the retreat it would have been enough. I knew the truth of it, I knew it referred to trying too hard, doing too much , even drawing on a range of spiritual practices instead of settling on a simple engagement with scripture and silence which would nourish my soul in simplicity and bring peace.

Perhaps you too have a sense of 'flitting' from one place or activity to the next, finding it hard to settle long at anything, rest-less and striving for stillness and peace. Know that the God who made and loves you will be there waiting when you pause and sit and rest.

May fantails remind us all of the value of stopping for a moment to savour the beauty around us, and to notice the God-moments which help us to hear what we need to know for our own well-being..