Friday 27 March 2020

Diary of a pandemic - day 2# NZ lockdown

I have nothing profound to say.

There are countless others with words that seem wise, but my mind needs to empty a little bit, stem the onslaught of statistics and stories and dis-ease modelling and 'what if's' and create some space for stillness. 

I am sitting upstairs in my writing spot with a tall kauri tree outside my window, watching it wave in the breeze. It is older than I am, a home to trilling tui, fantails, clumsy kereru, the occasional tiny grey warbler and sparrows. We will become better acquainted in the weeks ahead as I listen to them sing, and see them sit safely on the branches outside, a world away. 

Like it or not, I'm one of the 'vulnerable' - in my early 70's - it's a stark reality for many of us who don't consider ourselves 'old' that we're among those who may be most affected by the invisible menace which has already irrevocably changed so many lives around the globe. 

But it's time to pull my mind back from the thought of so much suffering and focus on the moment for that is all I have, all any of us has, this precious moment in which we live and breathe.

I look outside: the pavements are empty - no children from the local childcare centre walk in wobbly pairs down the road, high-viz vests barely containing their energy; no people hurry between businesses or doctors' rooms and pharmacy. Far fewer cars and only the occasional truck goes past - somehow they seem quieter, slower than usual.

There are moments of absolute silence, so unusual for a city street.
Within the space of that silence my mind moves to the words of 14th century anchorite and mystic, Julian of Norwich:
        All shall be well, and all shall be well and 
        all manner of thing shall be well.


Julian could only say this in the midst of hard times because she knew God's presence and love, and trusted that we are all held by a love that will not let us go.

May I hold onto this when I feel overwhelmed or anxious.
May we all come to that place of deep confidence and improbable peace no matter what lies ahead.




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