Writer's block

Although I've done a fair bit of writing in the past ten years, I haven't experienced 'writer's block' ...
until now.

I don't know whether it's the real deal  - a dreadful paralysis of the mind which stops creativity dead in its tracks - or whether it's just a sign of the slowing of thought that is inevitable with ageing or a lack of confidence or needing more sleep!

Whatever it is, it's real enough to me.

My particular block wall consists of a number of bricks:

• the voice that says things like 'Who do you think you are to attempt this?' or 'Why don't you just relax and forget about this writing thing... it'd be a lot easier.'
• then there's the stack of thoughts - things I've read, seen or heard that seem relevant and compete for inclusion
• and I mustn't forget the panic that erupts when I think about trying to meet a revised deadline
• and the wondering about repeating myself - how to make things 'fresh'
• and how to organise the material so it's 'logical' and appealing
• and whether people will or won't find it helpful ...  and so on ...

So I don't think it was 'coincidence' that the psalm for this morning - honouring George Herbert - priest, pastor and poet - was the very familiar psalm 23.

When I spent time with the psalm the word 'lead'  drew my attention.
      '... he leads me beside still waters;
           he restores my soul.
       He leads me in the right paths
            for his name's sake. [vv.2b-3, NRSV]

I stayed with 'lead' and let myself dwell in that word and what it might be like to be led by 'the good shepherd'.

A thought comes - and then an image - Jesus and I stand together in front of the wall  ... he touches each brick and speaks new life into the anxiety of my soul -

• listen to my voice - I will not lead you into danger or dryness
• you know that part of your vocation is to write - we are in this together and I will lead you as I have done before
• you've been given the freedom to take as long as you need - don't waste energy worrying 
• spend some time with me in silence and the concerns about structure will be addressed
• whether people find this helpful is not up to you  ... your task is to write it, that's all

There are gaps in the wall now... soon it won't be strong enough to stand.

The Light is bringing light. 

Kororia ki te Atua

Glory to God